Archive for the ‘That's F-d Up’ Category

Go ahead - leave your footprints!

Thursday, February 18th, 2010

Papillon Helicopters billboard north of Valle, AZ enroute to Grand Canyon National Park

Every time I drive to Grand Canyon, I see this billboard (pictured left) and finally remembered to stop and take a picture and comment on it for its absolute absurdity.  Based on this billboard, it appears that  Papillon Helicopters believes that hiking, walking or simply using one’s own two feet is more invasive to the environment than taking a tour in a helicopter.  Yes, walking, hiking, backpacking, etc. does leave literal footprints, and if you stay on established trails, you are not doing damage.  But what about the carbon footprint left by any gasoline and oil fueled vehicle?

Let’s look at an example from Ask Pablo on www.triplepundit.com.  A hotel in Belize decided to offer a helicopter transport to and from the airport.  This trip of 94km each way (and less than 1 hour each way) would contribute over 140mT of GHGs (Greenhouse Gases) per year assuming one round trip ride every day of the year.  Click here for the scientific stuff.   At Grand Canyon, there are numerous helicopters from a few different companies flying for over an hour each trip, with at least 2 trips per day most days of the year.  I’ll take man/woman power over gas power to see and experience nature any day.

And if you are a skeptic about the whole carbon footprint/global warming controversy, (or find all the math just mentally exhausting - an exhaust that leaves no carbon footprint by the way) what about the noise emitted from these whirlybirds?  Most people would agree that air traffic (planes and helicopters) are loud.  But, what is loud?  Let’s look at this in decibels (widely known as a measure of sound pressure).  Whispering is measured as 25 decibels (dB), a clothes dryer 60 dB and and screaming child 85 dB.  Each 10 dB increase in sound level is an approximate doubling of loudness.  Helicopters are 105 dB, 50% louder than a jackhammer at 100 dB.  What would you rather listen to, footsteps (about the same sound level as a whisper) or a jackhammer?

Still not convinced that walking is a better way to see the sites than by air?  By 2020 it is estimated that 50% of the United States population will be obese.  So how about getting off your a** and leave your footprints!

By the way, I am not a tree hugger.  I live in the Arizona desert.  Have you ever hugged a Mesquite tree or Saguaro cactus?  They don’t like physical signs of affection!

“The Canyon” Is An Unintended Laugh Fest

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

A ranger friend of ours told us about this movie that came out last year.  It is titled ” The Canyon” and it’s about a couple that have an ill fated honeymoon in the Grand Canyon. Since Debbie and I spend half of our time there, we had to check out the flick to for laughs and really we got our money’s worth. The main characters in the film go through an hysterical gauntlet of events that don’t happen to canyon hikers but somehow these people seem to survive.

the-canyon-movie

Yvonne Strahovski fights offs Grand Canyon wolves

The movie does get some facts straight such as: you need a permit to get to the bottom of the Grand Canyon,  Williams AZ is one place you can stay before heading below the rim,  and this is a destination you can head to after a stay in Las Vegas. Other than that, there are some main facts that movie entirely gets wrong.

The first is that you can hire a rouge guide to take you on a mule trip into the canyon. Mule trips are booked through Xanterra Corp and mules are only allowed on the Bright Angel, South Kaibab and part of the North Kaibab trail. Any unauthorized mule trip would have been spotted pretty quickly and their trip terminated but if that happened we wouldn’t have had much of a movie.  Another mistake the movie makes is the presence of wolves in the canyon. Wolves are nowhere to be found in the canyon yet the newlywed couple are attacked by by a pack of them which adds to the drama won’t ever happen. The most unrealistic thing about the movie is that you hardly ever see the people in the movie drink water. This movie is supposed to take place at the end of May which usually averages 90 degrees plus during the day so the characters in this movie should have died of dehydration about half way through the movie.

Veteran actor Will Patton plays Henry the hired guide that claims to have been stung by scorpions and bit by a mule among other war stories. If you ever are thinking of hiring a guide and he is telling you this stuff, he is either full of crap or he doesn’t know what he is doing so don’t hire him either way.

 I could go on about more crazy things in this film but I’ll stop rambling. Thankfully not many people saw this flick so I haven’t gotten questions about the canyon wolves yet. If you want a taste of the movie, check out the trailer.  If you’ve been to the canyon before, it is worth renting or ordering on NetFlix for the laughs.

Bear Grylls Gives Himself an Enema

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

Just when you think Bear Grylls can’t shock you anymore, he comes up with something totally outrageous in the name of a survival technique. I saw this clip once again on E! network’s “The Soup” and once again Bear did something so disgusting that is made clip of the week. What did he do that tops eating a piece of apple from a pile of bear crap? He gave himself an enema while floating on a raft in the ocean. If I didn’t see it I wouldn’t believe it myself.

Ratings Whore Bear Grylls

Ratings Whore Bear Grylls

Why would he do this? Besides higher ratings, this was apparently the best way to hydrate himself given the situation. Bear had collected water but it was loaded with bird droppings and if he were to drink it, he felt he wouldn’t be able to keep it down because of the taste so he rigged up his canteen and with some rubber tubing to give himself an enema. I have to watch the episode because I’m wondering where the hell he got the tubing. Does he keep 6ft of hose with him in his survival kit just for these situations?  Giving an enema to hydrate is a medically accepted practice in certain situations but in the backcountry this would be such an extreme example I don’t see how this can be useful. I have to give Bear some credit since he states several times that this is a last resort method for hydration. If there is anyone out there that has actually had an enema in the backcountry, I’d like to hear your story.

Here is a link to the video clip. Enjoy!

Bear Grylls Gives Himself and Enema

Kendra Meets The Flinstones in Arizona

Thursday, January 7th, 2010

Late many people in America, I’m a sucker for reality TV.  Not every reality shows but I get into the train wreck that is Brett Michael’s Rock of Love on VH1 and I ’m also fascinated how people like the Kardashians can become famous.  When I recently found out that a reality TV star actually visited an Arizona Landmark last year, I had to look it up on the web to find the video to share with all of you.  

Bedrock City in Valle AZ

Bedrock City in Valle AZ

Kendra Wilkinson, formerly Hugh Hefner’s arm candy on E!  Television’s Girls Next Door and now the star of  her own show “Kendra” , went on a visit to Flintstones Bedrock City in Valle AZ which is about 25 miles from the Grand Canyon. I past by this place about 100 times a year and it is such a kitschy roadside attraction that  I point out the place to many of our tour guests. I don’t think the place has changed since the 1960’s. Bedrock City is a restaurant, and campground that has a replica of the Flinstone.s hometown of Bedrock in the back of the property complete with a concrete volcano and dinosaur slide.  

Kendra and her husband, NFL backup wide receiver, Hank Baskett took a trip to Bedrock City to relive a part of her childhood.  Check out the clip here so you can see what the place looks like. It’s amazing that people give a crap about what she does with her life but I know folks are interested.  Heck, even I’m interested  because I’m wondering what the fascination is about. Whether you love Kendra or not, I’ve heard business has picked at Bedrock City since her visit.

 

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